3 minute dating questions
The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.
It’s natural to arrive a little nervous to a speed dating event, particularly if you have never been speed dating before and don’t know what to expect.The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. If not, use these and come up with others—but by all means, give some forethought to how you’d like a discussion with a new partner to unfold. Maybe you’ve got your own great first date questions, surefire winners that get the conversation rolling.Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy.
In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.
Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world.
Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says.
Dating nights are fun, so always go with an open mind and a big smile. Unless you’ve got a job as a lion tamer or professional champagne/bacon taster, it’s best to leave out the details of what makes you similar to every other person in the room.
One of the best dating tips I give guests is to avoid talking about work too much at singles nights. Although it’s nice to hear what people do to get a sort of background picture, don’t spend your precious 4 minute speeddate explaining how you’ve just taken on a new really complex finance modeling system which is bound to boggle and bore your date.
Trust me, after the first speeddate or two (and after the first drink or two!