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Dating a hmong girl

But in the end, I know I will have to make some hard decisions and some tough sacrifices in order to be with Sheng.

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But if you or your family is on a black list, it can be difficult for you to date a girl from a good family.I remember we only had one major problem with another family but we resolved that problem with a marriage between my sister and one of their sons.It wasn’t a forced marriage because they fell in love. We have our good times and our bad, but no matter what, we’re always there for each other. I’m afraid I won’t be able to marry her because of strict family rules and of course money.” Since a lot of parents and elders know one another, they can ask around and find out quickly about a person’s family background, and then they decide whether you can date that person or not.One of the funniest reasons I’ve ever heard for not dating someone was a story I heard from a friend.This one boy asked his dad if he could date this girl. Then, when he found out their name, the boy’s father said, “No way! We don’t have a lot of family issues with others and we keep to ourselves.

Long ago [back in our homeland], their great-grandfather snuck into your great-grandfather’s farm and stole many of his chickens and his prized cow. We don’t put ourselves out there to get a bad name.

Apr 10, 2010 I was on the phone, talking to my girlfriend Sheng. I’m only sixteen years old, but I’ve been thinking lately about marriage.

She was sharing her dreams of the future with me, about marriage. Some people might say, well marriage is just marriage and it won’t be that hard to do, but I’m Hmong, and that creates many challenges for me.

It’s what the groom pays the wife’s family, more of a gift to thank them for raising the wife.

Identifying an amount requires negotiations from both families, and it can range between five and ten thousand dollars.

I hope these values don’t disappear, no matter how disapproving I feel, because it’s still a part of who I am.