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Dating and a german and guy

dating and a german and guy-19

We’re arrogant snobs, is what I’m saying, so please keep this in mind as I make another sweeping generalization about the young men of northern Germany. They start learning English in the 3rd grade, and I know this because I have the incredible misfortune of living right next to a primary school.Every morning I get to hear these little nerds singing English nursery rhymes while I’m trying to work: TEACHER: “The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the waterspout…” SCHOOL KIDS: “The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the waterspout…” ME: “DOWN CAME THE RAIN AND WASHED THAT FUCKER OUT! ” Anyway, their language studies continue right on up through high school, and even if they don’t pursue it any further, they’re exposed to English on a regular basis through TV, movies and music.

Something about forcing the brain to switch between languages makes it more flexible and dynamic.That, or sexy unicorns are pissing in the groundwater.Anyway, as I’ve said before, there are exceptions to every rule; not every young guy you meet here is going to be devastatingly handsome… Christ, with all the moussed hair, trendy jeans, blessed height and Olympian physiques, living in Germany is like being trapped inside one huge boyband.(Of course, according to my theory, Inuit people living in the Arctic should be tall enough to touch the goddamn sun, but hey, I was drunk at the time.) Now, I have absolutely explanation why German men tend to be so thin.Consuming the traditional German diet is like getting down on your knees and praying for a heart attack.sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive " data-medium-file="https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpg? w=300" data-large-file="https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpg? w=798" class="wp-image-11734 size-large" src="https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpg? w=798&h=536" alt="sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive" srcset="https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpg? w=798&h=536 798w, https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpg? w=150&h=101 150w, https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpg? w=300&h=202 300w, https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpg? w=768&h=516 768w, https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/1024w" sizes="(max-width: 798px) 100vw, 798px" / Here’s the deal: I am a straight, married, American expat from Portland, Oregon, now living in Hannover, Germany. This is why, years later, single life and the one-night stands which go along with it are about as interesting to me as white hot birdshit.

My wife is a scalding hot German woman with two master’s degrees and a smile so stunning it could stop your heart. I have absolutely no motivation to give out dating advice, especially when it might help young German men get a little extra honey on their stingers.

They stay ahead of all the latest fads and trends, so overall, their appearance is hip and fresh to the eye.

(Or fruity as hell, depending upon your attitude.) Good style seems to be an inherent cultural trait across most of western Europe, but right now it’s working to the advantage of young German males.

I notice he is approximately 2-3 drinks ahead of me. For the first 2 hours, our conversation is AMAZING! “I don’t know,” he ponders, “I think it will just make my watch pop.” Questionable.. I politely order a glass of chardonnay but sip slowly making sure that I will be able to escort HIM home safely. “Look, clearly there was some kind of misunderstanding, let’s rewind and scratch that past conversation out.” He snaps, “Well ok, but I don’t think I did anything wrong.” He takes one last sip of his drink indicating that he is done. ” He says “let’s wrap it up” and asks for the check. I text him as soon as I get in the cab, something that I generally would never do, “I’m not sure what just happened….” No response.

The fact that he says he can shop for hours and not get bored doesn’t phase me in the slightest, in fact, I welcome that challenge. Mid-conversation he blurts out, “our third date should be a cooking date.” I jokingly respond, “a cooking date? What would Patti Stanger say….”Not until I’m exclusive with someone….that’s when. We are out of there faster than a sweater off of a Barney’s sale rack.

Listen, I’m 5’10” tall when I’m wearing thick soled shoes, standing up perfectly straight and totally lying to myself. They are, as my wife would put it, “.” Obviously there are exceptions — I’ve seen a few short guys here too — but most of them are like the Ents from the Lord of the Rings; elongated tree people, all lanky as hell with arms and legs akimbo.