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Dating your ex boyfriends best friend

dating your ex boyfriends best friend-79

What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.

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But you're not a puppet master and they aren't puppets.It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don't push them to associate if they're not into it.Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other.This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it.

Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are about this), and don't invite your friend to what was supposed to be a romantic dinner at home.4. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend.

Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.

We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.

3) You are behaving badly, not talking to your friend because she is dating your ex. She is playing by the rules and you are being a sore loser.

2) You lied when you told your friend you no longer had feelings for your ex.

(I'm going to use female pronouns for your friend, and male pronouns for your sweetie, for the sake of simplicity; however, every rule here applies no matter the genders of the participants.) Keep your friend's secrets.