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Funny things to put in your online dating profile

First date I can’t stand this question because it implies that there’s going to be a date, when, in reality, the complete opposite is about to transpire.

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Looking for Every website wants to know what its user is looking for: don’t play into their hand.Some of these other apps may be different, but still, the bottom line is that these apps and sites are for males and females that are looking for someone to have sex with, not share a romantic candlelight dinner.Smoking and drinking It’s good to go ahead and straight lie about this one if you’re forced to fill it out: you don’t smoke and you drink on occasion.Moving on to the situation at hand: you’ve chosen to go through Tinder, or whatever else your smart phone suggests you download, to get pussy.If you’re going to be successful — and trust me, there’s plenty of room to clean up if this is your shtick, then abide by the set of rules of below.Let’s try this: don’t fill out anything children related on your online dating profile.

In fact, don’t put anything on there that has to deal with the future — career plans, personal ambitions, marriage (???

Remember, they’re doing to you what you’re doing to them — evaluating strictly based on profile photos.

You’re not going to win any brownie points saying you know karate.

Limiting the pool of girls who you’re looking at will cut your options in half, and that’s poor use of statistics.

It may seem contradictory, I know; the logic being that you’ll pair up with someone also looking for just sex, but this will only result in your profile getting 10 “likes” from 220-plus pound girls who are really just looking for sex.

If you have to check off something to join the site, then you should go for the broadest grouping, like “looking for fun” or whatever stupid, open-ending option they leave you.