Im dating commitment phobe
The first step is being open to change, and wanting to make the changes in your life and your thinking that can help you be less anxious in future relationships.
Both men and women can suffer from relationship anxiety and commitment phobia, although traditionally it was thought primarily to be a male problem.People with commitment issues come in all shapes and sizes, and their exact dating and relationship behaviors can vary.Some refuse to have any serious or long-term relationships longer than a week or a month, because of their fears. Eventually, I realized that the fear of commitment was what made it so great. They require blood, sweat, and tears before you see the harvest. We all eventually face a decision that requires something deep of us. But when I kissed my wife, I knew that pushing through the fear was the right choice. I had a picture in my mind of an ideal and when my experience didn’t meet that, I would get scared and want to leave. Instead, I stuck through, and it made all the difference. Initially, I struggled with committing the rest of my life to one person. They may be less grandiose than the quick and erratic changes that mark adolescence, but they are far more beautiful. When we work past our commitment phobia and do something, we find a deeper, albeit more subtle, form of abundance in life. We try to play it safe, and that’s the wrong approach.
I learned about the fruit of commitment first through getting ready for marriage. Some blessings only come with long-term investment. Lewis calls this phenomenon the “quieter love.” It surpasses butterflies and gushy feelings, but still has a profound effect on the soul. We want to hold back, we want to minimize our potential losses.
However, we need to consider the greater risk of waiting for the perfect opportunity. You can’t achieve success without pledging yourself to a cause. When you come across these situations where you feel uncomfortable and hesitant, don’t be afraid.
While I knew that it was the right choice, there was still something in me wanting to pull back. It’s important for our own sakes that we don’t shy away from these opportunities to grow.
People with a commitment phobia long and want a long-term connection with another person, but their overwhelming anxiety prevents them from staying in any relationship for too long.
If pressed for a commitment, they are far more likely to leave the relationship than to make the commitment.
A therapist will help a person understand there is no “perfect” relationship, and that all relationships need nurturing, care and constant attention.