Rules of dating multiple men
When — or if — do I have to tell the people about each other?There is an enduring instinct to treat people the way that we’d like to be treated.
But for others, they have to date someone many times, maybe even over weeks or months, to know whether there’s chemistry in the air—and they may need to date several people before they finally feel that “click.” If you immediately exclude all other guys or gals from the moment you have your first lunch date with someone until his or her annoying laugh causes you to bolt two months later, you may have to go through several mini-relationships in a row before you’re done. Going on dates with a few different good candidates around the same time helps you find out fast who’s wrong, without forcing you to wait and wait and wait to find out who’s right.They were friends with each other and, inevitably, they found out.One day, she got home from class and found both of them sitting on the couch, waiting for her, and they were not happy. If you’re going to date two people, do your absolute best to make sure they don’t know each other, like, If you find out early on that they do, abort mission.“How could it be that the universe is handing me such a Herculean task? This embarrassment of riches is your prize for enduring countless shitty dates and rebuffing the advances of grody bros in I-banker loafers who are too drunk to see straight while you’re waiting in line for the bathroom.If you ever, ever feel bad about dating more than one person, remind yourself that if you were a dude, this behavior would be second nature. The golden rule: Make sure they don’t know each other.It Boosts your Self-Confidence and Hones your First-Date Skills We understand why dating different people simultaneously may seem daunting.
It can be nerve-racking to go on a lot of first dates in a row, especially if you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while (or have never really “dated”).
With dating, this rule sadly doesn’t always hold true.
In short, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but especially if things don’t feel entirely serious just yet.
And if you’re looking for commitment and eventually marriage, you probably want to avoid “playing the field” because it seems to trivialize the process of finding something so important in your life.
However, compare the dating experience to looking for a job. Yet revising your résumé, applying at lots of places, and going on multiple interviews helps you to be less nervous each time you’re in a recruiter’s office and teaches you how to sell yourself to potential employers.
Is one guy or gal a little more thoughtful than the rest?